Lucky People Live in Harmony with their Values
Contemporary personal development authors such as Anthony Robbins (1991) propose that our life values are like a compass, steering us towards the things we value most in life and away from the things we choose to avoid.
“Values guide our every decision and, therefore, our destiny”. Anthony Robbins (1991)
Whether we make our decisions consciously or unconsciously, they are usually in alignment with our highest values. For example, if someone values ‘honesty’ they will disclose unpleasant truths even though this may hurt someone’s feelings or cause families to break up. Someone who values wisdom or compassion above honesty will use deeper discernment about how and when to tell the truth without harming the individual concerned or causing damage to others.
Sometimes our decisions are not in alignment with our highest values, resulting in feelings of guilt or regret. For example, if we value courage above security but allowed ourselves to ignore a colleague being bullied, we may feel guilty that we did not take the risk of losing our own job in order to challenge the bullying. However, someone who values their own security above courage (perhaps because they have children to consider) would not feel guilty about the same situation. If we value freedom above loyalty, we may regret a wasted married life, living with a partner that demands loyalty. Someone who values loyalty above freedom may feel quite content and proud of their capacity to be loyal enough to save their marriage.
Are there things that you feel guilty about? Are there things that you regret doing or not doing in your life?
When you reflect on these events in your life; events which left you feeling guilty or full of regret, you may notice that one or more of your highest values were not being met; you chose to act upon a value of lower importance to you. What value did you act upon and what value would have given you more long term satisfaction?
Sometimes we are well aware of our values but nevertheless, it is difficult to make a decision as they are in conflict with each other. This is often because we are isolating two opposing values and struggling to compromise between them instead of reflecting on clusters of values and choosing the scenario that each represents. For example, when you are buying a new home, instead of creating a dilemma, choosing between city or rural environment, you may find it easier to make a wise decision about which house to buy if you list your 10 top values for a new home and ensure that you meet the top 5 values you have listed. Even if you meet your top three values, I doubt that you will feel guilty or regret the decision you have made.
If you have an important decision to make and would like to be coached on clarifying your top values, contact me to make an introductory coaching appointment jesvir@universityforlife.com
Saturday, April 03, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Lucky People Choose their Beliefs Wisely
We all have beliefs but it is the fortunate amongst us that realise we have a choice about what to believe.
Our survival depends on the beliefs we use to interpret our existence and interaction with our environment. Most of us learn to adopt beliefs that will protect us from harm physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Based on the survival mechanism which warns us to avoid pain and attract pleasure, we tend to refrain from harbouring beliefs that cause us pain and we embrace beliefs that give us pleasure.
Can you remember the first belief that you articulated in your life? It was probably soon after you started to formulate ideas about the world in which you found yourself as a small child. Beliefs are ideas supported by evidence that gives them validity. This evidence may be your own personal experience or the experience of people that you trust (either because you love them or because they are credible authorities). Thus, our childhood beliefs are shaped by our family, friends, teachers and information that we absorb from our environment. In adulthood, our beliefs are shaped by our complex interpretation of the information we absorb through interaction and communication with our environment. We determine our own rules about whether to believe something or not. For example, lawyers need much more factual evidence to support a belief than psychics who rely on intuition. If you consider your most important beliefs; beliefs that support your existence and survival, what evidence do you have to uphold these beliefs? Is your evidence based on personal experiences; the influence of education you have received; your intuition; your faith? Are there beliefs that you hold dearly that have no evidence whatsoever to support them?
Lucky people often express beliefs that have no evidence to support them. There are countless stories of people that have miraculously survived circumstances, beyond belief. They experienced an extraordinary reality; a reality without logical or rational evidence to support it. For example, a child may dream of going to university even though there is not a single member of their family that can read or write. Although the available evidence suggests that their goal is impossible, they hold on to their belief, supported only by their own intangible faith. The cherished belief gives them tremendous pleasure and enables them to overcome painful obstacles until they accomplish the goal they believed in despite the odds.
Whatever we choose to believe, we will always find evidence to prove that we or those that we love and respect, are right. Psychologists call this phenomenon a “self-fulfilling prophecy”. If we believe we are lucky, we will create supporting situations; on the other hand, if we believe we are unlucky, we will interpret events to highlight all that is unfavourable, hence confirming the accuracy of our judgment.
Our beliefs have an impact on our behaviour, our emotions and our well-being in general. If we believe that life is dangerous, we will behave pessimistically, our actions being driven by fear. If we believe that we are lucky and fortunate, smiles will appear on our face effortlessly and there will be a bounce in our heels that stimulates our vitality and love of life. The response we receive to our manner of interaction provides lots of evidence that we are indeed very lucky. And the cycle continues.
Using the knowledge that beliefs are merely representations of the truth, not the absolute truth, lucky people are not attached rigidly to protecting their own beliefs. They are more committed to nurturing their values instead of beliefs. If the belief does not guide them to develop what they value in life, they discard it, like an inaccurate set of directions that fails to take them to the desired destination. For example, a traditional person with very strong family values will keep their family together by modifying or letting go of various beliefs in order to adapt to the new lifestyle of their younger generation. Moreover, wise, lucky people create new beliefs to strengthen their family relationships, filling their lives with priceless values. In contrast, unlucky people lose the closeness of their family members, hanging on miserably to their heartless, unrewarding beliefs, constantly expecting life to present evidence that supports their self-righteousness.
1. What kind of beliefs are steering your life?
2. Which of your beliefs supports your purpose in life?
3. Which of your beliefs are false, outdated or disempowering for you?
4. How often do you live life with an extraordinary expectancy of good fortune that is beyond belief?
References
Robbins, A. (1992) Awaken the Giant Within, Free Press
Wiseman, R. (2004) The Luck Factor, Arrow (Rand)
This article is part of my new book “You’re So Lucky” to read more articles like this, subscribe to our free newsletter : Success Newsletter
© Jesvir Mahil 2010
We all have beliefs but it is the fortunate amongst us that realise we have a choice about what to believe.
Our survival depends on the beliefs we use to interpret our existence and interaction with our environment. Most of us learn to adopt beliefs that will protect us from harm physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Based on the survival mechanism which warns us to avoid pain and attract pleasure, we tend to refrain from harbouring beliefs that cause us pain and we embrace beliefs that give us pleasure.
Can you remember the first belief that you articulated in your life? It was probably soon after you started to formulate ideas about the world in which you found yourself as a small child. Beliefs are ideas supported by evidence that gives them validity. This evidence may be your own personal experience or the experience of people that you trust (either because you love them or because they are credible authorities). Thus, our childhood beliefs are shaped by our family, friends, teachers and information that we absorb from our environment. In adulthood, our beliefs are shaped by our complex interpretation of the information we absorb through interaction and communication with our environment. We determine our own rules about whether to believe something or not. For example, lawyers need much more factual evidence to support a belief than psychics who rely on intuition. If you consider your most important beliefs; beliefs that support your existence and survival, what evidence do you have to uphold these beliefs? Is your evidence based on personal experiences; the influence of education you have received; your intuition; your faith? Are there beliefs that you hold dearly that have no evidence whatsoever to support them?
Lucky people often express beliefs that have no evidence to support them. There are countless stories of people that have miraculously survived circumstances, beyond belief. They experienced an extraordinary reality; a reality without logical or rational evidence to support it. For example, a child may dream of going to university even though there is not a single member of their family that can read or write. Although the available evidence suggests that their goal is impossible, they hold on to their belief, supported only by their own intangible faith. The cherished belief gives them tremendous pleasure and enables them to overcome painful obstacles until they accomplish the goal they believed in despite the odds.
Whatever we choose to believe, we will always find evidence to prove that we or those that we love and respect, are right. Psychologists call this phenomenon a “self-fulfilling prophecy”. If we believe we are lucky, we will create supporting situations; on the other hand, if we believe we are unlucky, we will interpret events to highlight all that is unfavourable, hence confirming the accuracy of our judgment.
Our beliefs have an impact on our behaviour, our emotions and our well-being in general. If we believe that life is dangerous, we will behave pessimistically, our actions being driven by fear. If we believe that we are lucky and fortunate, smiles will appear on our face effortlessly and there will be a bounce in our heels that stimulates our vitality and love of life. The response we receive to our manner of interaction provides lots of evidence that we are indeed very lucky. And the cycle continues.
Using the knowledge that beliefs are merely representations of the truth, not the absolute truth, lucky people are not attached rigidly to protecting their own beliefs. They are more committed to nurturing their values instead of beliefs. If the belief does not guide them to develop what they value in life, they discard it, like an inaccurate set of directions that fails to take them to the desired destination. For example, a traditional person with very strong family values will keep their family together by modifying or letting go of various beliefs in order to adapt to the new lifestyle of their younger generation. Moreover, wise, lucky people create new beliefs to strengthen their family relationships, filling their lives with priceless values. In contrast, unlucky people lose the closeness of their family members, hanging on miserably to their heartless, unrewarding beliefs, constantly expecting life to present evidence that supports their self-righteousness.
1. What kind of beliefs are steering your life?
2. Which of your beliefs supports your purpose in life?
3. Which of your beliefs are false, outdated or disempowering for you?
4. How often do you live life with an extraordinary expectancy of good fortune that is beyond belief?
References
Robbins, A. (1992) Awaken the Giant Within, Free Press
Wiseman, R. (2004) The Luck Factor, Arrow (Rand)
This article is part of my new book “You’re So Lucky” to read more articles like this, subscribe to our free newsletter : Success Newsletter
© Jesvir Mahil 2010
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Lucky People Think Creatively
“A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.” James Allen
Lucky people think creatively and the quality of their thoughts and open-mindedness, attracts opportunities that they promptly notice because they anticipate lucky breaks. In contract, unlucky people fail to notice opportunities as they pass by, because they are too busy, caught up in their thoughts filled with worry, fear and self-pity.
It may seem rather simplistic or extreme to define a person and their luck as a measure of their thoughts. However, for over a hundred years, James Allen, author of ‘As a Man Thinketh’ (1902) has influenced the lives of millions around the world with his profound theory which in essence states that “what we think is what we are”. The implications of Allen’s assumptions are that we create our own luck in life and that the distinction between fortunate and unfortunate people is basically in the quality of their thoughts.
In his popular book ‘As a Man Thinketh’, James Allen explains the impact of our thoughts on our character, circumstances, health, purpose and achievements in life. How have your thoughts shaped your luck and life in these respects?
1. Character
Your character has probably evolved over the years as you moved from the stages of childhood to adulthood. Our emotions naturally change over the years and we learn to let go of thoughts that no longer serve us. When we go through painful or traumatic experiences, our character changes, for the better or worse, based on our thoughts and the meaning we assign to the situation. If, as James Allen suggests, our thoughts are like seeds, what have you been planting? What are the fruits of your character at this point in your life?
2.Circumstances
“Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.” James Allen.
Lucky people tend to focus on solutions whereas unlucky people dwell on problems. In thinking creatively, lucky people know how to escape from adverse circumstances whereas unlucky people are unable or unwilling to envisage a way out. Stressful situations can force people to reveal themselves as they really are, without the masks they use to disguise their internal thoughts and character. How do you behave when the going gets tough? How authentic are you? How do you interpret the circumstances you find yourself in now?
3.Health & Body
People that place a high value on their health usually take good care of their bodies. This requires thoughtful consideration about what to eat; when to exercise; how to relax and how to revitalise our energy. Effective action to maintain health has to be preceded by effective thinking. How often do you reflect deeply about your health and take actions to nurture your body appropriately?
4. Achievement
Creative thinking and sustained effort is essential to complete the required process In order to achieve any worthwhile success. Whereas lucky people are persistent in taking actions towards their dreams and goals, unlucky people lazily expect their dreams to manifest without any action on their part. Even a very tiny action can cause an enormous effect.
What actions are you taking on a daily basis to create your dreams and achieve your goals in life?
5.Purpose
Those who live life without inspiring dreams that pull them forward with a strong sense of purpose about where they are going and how they need to use each day in order to get there, remain stagnant in the shadows of their worries, fears and petty challenges. Unlucky people focus on the minor trials and tribulations of life because they do not, instead, have a clear, desirable and exciting goal that they feel passionate about attaining. Fortunate, lucky people are driven by their dreams rather than held back by their petty concerns. What is your purpose in life? Is the attractive force of your purpose stronger than the debilitating force of your self-doubt and fears? How creatively can you achieve your purpose?
References
Allen, J. (1902) As a Man Thinketh
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Allen_(author)
This blog is part of a book called "You’re So Lucky!" by Jesvir Mahil. To read more, subscribe to the free Success Newsletter )
Ms Jesvir Mahil
www.jesvir.com
London, UK
“A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.” James Allen
Lucky people think creatively and the quality of their thoughts and open-mindedness, attracts opportunities that they promptly notice because they anticipate lucky breaks. In contract, unlucky people fail to notice opportunities as they pass by, because they are too busy, caught up in their thoughts filled with worry, fear and self-pity.
It may seem rather simplistic or extreme to define a person and their luck as a measure of their thoughts. However, for over a hundred years, James Allen, author of ‘As a Man Thinketh’ (1902) has influenced the lives of millions around the world with his profound theory which in essence states that “what we think is what we are”. The implications of Allen’s assumptions are that we create our own luck in life and that the distinction between fortunate and unfortunate people is basically in the quality of their thoughts.
In his popular book ‘As a Man Thinketh’, James Allen explains the impact of our thoughts on our character, circumstances, health, purpose and achievements in life. How have your thoughts shaped your luck and life in these respects?
1. Character
Your character has probably evolved over the years as you moved from the stages of childhood to adulthood. Our emotions naturally change over the years and we learn to let go of thoughts that no longer serve us. When we go through painful or traumatic experiences, our character changes, for the better or worse, based on our thoughts and the meaning we assign to the situation. If, as James Allen suggests, our thoughts are like seeds, what have you been planting? What are the fruits of your character at this point in your life?
2.Circumstances
“Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.” James Allen.
Lucky people tend to focus on solutions whereas unlucky people dwell on problems. In thinking creatively, lucky people know how to escape from adverse circumstances whereas unlucky people are unable or unwilling to envisage a way out. Stressful situations can force people to reveal themselves as they really are, without the masks they use to disguise their internal thoughts and character. How do you behave when the going gets tough? How authentic are you? How do you interpret the circumstances you find yourself in now?
3.Health & Body
People that place a high value on their health usually take good care of their bodies. This requires thoughtful consideration about what to eat; when to exercise; how to relax and how to revitalise our energy. Effective action to maintain health has to be preceded by effective thinking. How often do you reflect deeply about your health and take actions to nurture your body appropriately?
4. Achievement
Creative thinking and sustained effort is essential to complete the required process In order to achieve any worthwhile success. Whereas lucky people are persistent in taking actions towards their dreams and goals, unlucky people lazily expect their dreams to manifest without any action on their part. Even a very tiny action can cause an enormous effect.
What actions are you taking on a daily basis to create your dreams and achieve your goals in life?
5.Purpose
Those who live life without inspiring dreams that pull them forward with a strong sense of purpose about where they are going and how they need to use each day in order to get there, remain stagnant in the shadows of their worries, fears and petty challenges. Unlucky people focus on the minor trials and tribulations of life because they do not, instead, have a clear, desirable and exciting goal that they feel passionate about attaining. Fortunate, lucky people are driven by their dreams rather than held back by their petty concerns. What is your purpose in life? Is the attractive force of your purpose stronger than the debilitating force of your self-doubt and fears? How creatively can you achieve your purpose?
References
Allen, J. (1902) As a Man Thinketh
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Allen_(author)
This blog is part of a book called "You’re So Lucky!" by Jesvir Mahil. To read more, subscribe to the free Success Newsletter )
Ms Jesvir Mahil
www.jesvir.com
London, UK
Friday, January 01, 2010
Lucky people live life driven by purpose.
“If you don’t know where you are going, any path will do.” Lewis Carroll
If you have read Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland”, you will probably recognise the quote above and the following excerpt from the book:
“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
Lucky, fortunate people usually have a clear purpose in life and they look for signs steering them in the right direction. Unlucky people on the other hand, often complain about not getting anywhere in life. They respond in a similar way to confused young Alice when asked about where they actually want to be or go.
How clear are you about the following questions:
What is your purpose? Who are you? Where are you going? How are you planning on getting there?
Having a clear sense of purpose may serve to attract more luck into your life. If you know where you are heading, it will be a lot easier for life to present the signposts that will help you get there.
Inner Drives, Passion & Dreams
If you are uncertain about your purpose in life, pay attention to the things that inspire you; notice the things you love; be aware of what gives you joy in life; what evokes your passion for life? What motivates and drives you? What do you value in life? What are your dreams?
For example, do you value freedom or security? If you value freedom rather than security, life may support you in travelling around the world independently but your plans to buy a house, on the other hand, may not be so successful. Some things may fall into your lap easily and effortlessly and others fail to materialise despite your hardest efforts and struggles. Perhaps the former are in alignment with your values and the latter, on the other hand, conflict with your highest values. For example if you value truth more than success, you will fail to get the job or stay for long in a job that compromises your integrity. It may seem a stroke of “bad luck” that you didn’t get the job or you got made redundant, but in fact, life is supporting your true values even though you may not be fully aware of them.
Your dreams must be your own dreams and not the dreams of your loved ones, which is one of the reasons that our most cherished dreams fail to materialise. We have to learn to create our own dreams. A mustard seed will never grow up to be an oak tree, regardless of how well it is nourished or how many years it has grown. Lives are often wasted trying to be someone else; living someone else’s dream and comparing our lives with the lives of others when there is no real comparison to be made.
How do you know that your dreams are your own? Who do you compare your inner life with? How does this help or hinder your own journey through life?
Some of your goals and ambitions will naturally be inspired by external circumstances and the environment in which you have lived. If your parents lived in poverty, you may be driven by the need to have a better standard of living and you may define your purpose in life to establish a life of comfort for your children.
One of the differences between lucky, successful people and those who consider themselves to be unlucky or unfortunate is the capacity to think and plan ahead. Those who invest in their own education, clearly have a different strategy for expressing their purpose in life.
What do you hope to achieve in your lifetime?
How will you be remembered?
What legacy do you intend to leave?
How will you uncover your deepest purpose, passion and driving force in life?
By living a life driven by purpose, like lucky people do, you will increase your chances of finding the signposts guiding and directing you to where you believe your destiny to be.
(This is part of a book called "You’re So Lucky!" by Jesvir Mahil. To read more, subscribe to the free Success Newsletter )
Ms Jesvir Mahil
www.jesvir.com
December 2009, London, UK
“If you don’t know where you are going, any path will do.” Lewis Carroll
If you have read Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland”, you will probably recognise the quote above and the following excerpt from the book:
“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
Lucky, fortunate people usually have a clear purpose in life and they look for signs steering them in the right direction. Unlucky people on the other hand, often complain about not getting anywhere in life. They respond in a similar way to confused young Alice when asked about where they actually want to be or go.
How clear are you about the following questions:
What is your purpose? Who are you? Where are you going? How are you planning on getting there?
Having a clear sense of purpose may serve to attract more luck into your life. If you know where you are heading, it will be a lot easier for life to present the signposts that will help you get there.
Inner Drives, Passion & Dreams
If you are uncertain about your purpose in life, pay attention to the things that inspire you; notice the things you love; be aware of what gives you joy in life; what evokes your passion for life? What motivates and drives you? What do you value in life? What are your dreams?
For example, do you value freedom or security? If you value freedom rather than security, life may support you in travelling around the world independently but your plans to buy a house, on the other hand, may not be so successful. Some things may fall into your lap easily and effortlessly and others fail to materialise despite your hardest efforts and struggles. Perhaps the former are in alignment with your values and the latter, on the other hand, conflict with your highest values. For example if you value truth more than success, you will fail to get the job or stay for long in a job that compromises your integrity. It may seem a stroke of “bad luck” that you didn’t get the job or you got made redundant, but in fact, life is supporting your true values even though you may not be fully aware of them.
Your dreams must be your own dreams and not the dreams of your loved ones, which is one of the reasons that our most cherished dreams fail to materialise. We have to learn to create our own dreams. A mustard seed will never grow up to be an oak tree, regardless of how well it is nourished or how many years it has grown. Lives are often wasted trying to be someone else; living someone else’s dream and comparing our lives with the lives of others when there is no real comparison to be made.
How do you know that your dreams are your own? Who do you compare your inner life with? How does this help or hinder your own journey through life?
Some of your goals and ambitions will naturally be inspired by external circumstances and the environment in which you have lived. If your parents lived in poverty, you may be driven by the need to have a better standard of living and you may define your purpose in life to establish a life of comfort for your children.
One of the differences between lucky, successful people and those who consider themselves to be unlucky or unfortunate is the capacity to think and plan ahead. Those who invest in their own education, clearly have a different strategy for expressing their purpose in life.
What do you hope to achieve in your lifetime?
How will you be remembered?
What legacy do you intend to leave?
How will you uncover your deepest purpose, passion and driving force in life?
By living a life driven by purpose, like lucky people do, you will increase your chances of finding the signposts guiding and directing you to where you believe your destiny to be.
(This is part of a book called "You’re So Lucky!" by Jesvir Mahil. To read more, subscribe to the free Success Newsletter )
Ms Jesvir Mahil
www.jesvir.com
December 2009, London, UK
Thursday, December 31, 2009
You’re So Lucky!
Leila was a high achiever. She had learnt that in order to survive; in order to be loved by her family and in order to be accepted in the workplace, she had to produce desirable results.
Her long list of accomplishments often evoked an emotional “You’re So Lucky!” response from new acquaintances, which made Leila cringe as she raised her eyebrows in disagreement to say “Oh, yeah? Really?!” She was superstitious and desperately afraid that her apparent good fortune would be jinxed by the overt envy or covert jealousy of people that neither cared for her success nor her well-being.
In order to ward off the bad luck that she was expecting, sooner or later, she would justify her apparent good fortune with a long list of sacrifices she had made along the way. She would highlight all her failures and sigh over her dreams that would never be fulfilled.
Leila believed that she was far from being lucky; in fact, she was convinced that her inability to settle down with the man of her dreams, and her numerous failed romances meant that she was cursed and that her life was cursed.
Subscribe to free Success Newsletter to read the story of Leila’s journey from a life of fearful pessimism to a lucky life of blissful contentment. Perhaps you will see a reflection of your own journey in this story.
Ms Jesvir Mahil
www.jesvir.com
December 2009, London, UK
Leila was a high achiever. She had learnt that in order to survive; in order to be loved by her family and in order to be accepted in the workplace, she had to produce desirable results.
Her long list of accomplishments often evoked an emotional “You’re So Lucky!” response from new acquaintances, which made Leila cringe as she raised her eyebrows in disagreement to say “Oh, yeah? Really?!” She was superstitious and desperately afraid that her apparent good fortune would be jinxed by the overt envy or covert jealousy of people that neither cared for her success nor her well-being.
In order to ward off the bad luck that she was expecting, sooner or later, she would justify her apparent good fortune with a long list of sacrifices she had made along the way. She would highlight all her failures and sigh over her dreams that would never be fulfilled.
Leila believed that she was far from being lucky; in fact, she was convinced that her inability to settle down with the man of her dreams, and her numerous failed romances meant that she was cursed and that her life was cursed.
Subscribe to free Success Newsletter to read the story of Leila’s journey from a life of fearful pessimism to a lucky life of blissful contentment. Perhaps you will see a reflection of your own journey in this story.
Ms Jesvir Mahil
www.jesvir.com
December 2009, London, UK
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Social Media & Serendipity
Can social media increase serendipity in your life?
What is social media? And what is serendipity?
As you are reading this article, which is an example of social media, you will, no doubt, have your own interpretation of this form of modern communication. In my view, social media refers to the communication of thoughts, ideas, concerns and interests through a network of connections in which many can and do, correspond.
Serendipity is a word associated with a fairy tale called “The Three Princes of Serendip” in which the heroes possessed the gift of making fortunate discoveries by accident.
Thus, another way of asking the above question could be:
Is it possible to increase the likelihood of making fortunate discoveries by coincidence through engaging in social media?
In my opinion, the answer is obviously “yes”, based on a few possible reasons:
1. In many good fairy tales, the hero or heroine delves into the unknown where they find the treasure which is invariably much more wonderful than anything they had ever expected to find. Likewise, the social media heroes and heroines step into the unknown whenever they express the contents of their mind to an audience that is largely unfamiliar and unpredictable in how they will respond to the communication. As in fairy tales, there is usually (but not always) a reward for the courage it takes a social median to share openly in a public environment where not everyone is friendly or supportive. This reward may take the form of new friendships, greater self-confidence and ability to influence. The gift of serendipity will be apparent in how these new experiences unfold, perhaps through the depth of trust created or the quality of collaboration made possible.
2. Social medians seem to know and understand the value of FREEDOM and they generously give away their best thoughts, ideas and systems for FREE. Unlike journalists that may feel compelled to sell their articles to the highest bidder, social medians generate articles that are not necessarily written to please anyone, let alone be sold. It seems apparent that the person whose life is entrapped with obligations and restrictions will have limited opportunities for random, creative acts of serendipity whereas those living in freedom will attract more opportunities in which the gift of serendipity will reveal itself.
If you have the courage to share your creative ideas openly and you value freedom so much that you give generously, at random, you are creating a lifestyle that is perfectly conducive to acts of well-deserved “serendipity”.
I have been developing my skills as a social median for many years with my websites, blogs and active participation in online forums. Over the years, there have been various cases where I have been blessed with serendipity. For example, I used to write quite a lot for a coaching forum and one day, out of the blue, I was asked to write a chapter for a book called “Good Question”. This was many years before I published my own books and perhaps it was a signpost, guiding me along my career path as a writer, which is not at all what my focus was at that time, when I was contributing my ideas to the coaching forum.
How much of a social median are you? Do you share your ideas, thoughts, concerns and interests with people that you may never meet in your lifetime?
What is the impact of your thoughts on others? What evidence of serendipity have you seen in your life recently? How could you cultivate your environment to attract more luck into your life?
© Jesvir Mahil
Subscribe to Success Newsletter
Can social media increase serendipity in your life?
What is social media? And what is serendipity?
As you are reading this article, which is an example of social media, you will, no doubt, have your own interpretation of this form of modern communication. In my view, social media refers to the communication of thoughts, ideas, concerns and interests through a network of connections in which many can and do, correspond.
Serendipity is a word associated with a fairy tale called “The Three Princes of Serendip” in which the heroes possessed the gift of making fortunate discoveries by accident.
Thus, another way of asking the above question could be:
Is it possible to increase the likelihood of making fortunate discoveries by coincidence through engaging in social media?
In my opinion, the answer is obviously “yes”, based on a few possible reasons:
1. In many good fairy tales, the hero or heroine delves into the unknown where they find the treasure which is invariably much more wonderful than anything they had ever expected to find. Likewise, the social media heroes and heroines step into the unknown whenever they express the contents of their mind to an audience that is largely unfamiliar and unpredictable in how they will respond to the communication. As in fairy tales, there is usually (but not always) a reward for the courage it takes a social median to share openly in a public environment where not everyone is friendly or supportive. This reward may take the form of new friendships, greater self-confidence and ability to influence. The gift of serendipity will be apparent in how these new experiences unfold, perhaps through the depth of trust created or the quality of collaboration made possible.
2. Social medians seem to know and understand the value of FREEDOM and they generously give away their best thoughts, ideas and systems for FREE. Unlike journalists that may feel compelled to sell their articles to the highest bidder, social medians generate articles that are not necessarily written to please anyone, let alone be sold. It seems apparent that the person whose life is entrapped with obligations and restrictions will have limited opportunities for random, creative acts of serendipity whereas those living in freedom will attract more opportunities in which the gift of serendipity will reveal itself.
If you have the courage to share your creative ideas openly and you value freedom so much that you give generously, at random, you are creating a lifestyle that is perfectly conducive to acts of well-deserved “serendipity”.
I have been developing my skills as a social median for many years with my websites, blogs and active participation in online forums. Over the years, there have been various cases where I have been blessed with serendipity. For example, I used to write quite a lot for a coaching forum and one day, out of the blue, I was asked to write a chapter for a book called “Good Question”. This was many years before I published my own books and perhaps it was a signpost, guiding me along my career path as a writer, which is not at all what my focus was at that time, when I was contributing my ideas to the coaching forum.
How much of a social median are you? Do you share your ideas, thoughts, concerns and interests with people that you may never meet in your lifetime?
What is the impact of your thoughts on others? What evidence of serendipity have you seen in your life recently? How could you cultivate your environment to attract more luck into your life?
© Jesvir Mahil
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Monday, December 14, 2009
Read Effectively & Efficiently
How well do you read? Notice, I didn’t ask “How fast do you read?” I asked quite a different question: “How well do you read?”
Like me, you may have wished you could read much faster than you do. There may be a growing pile of books on your shelves, gathering dust; books that you wish you had time to read; books that you wish you could read faster, to fit in the time you have available.
What’s stopping you from reading your collection of books? Is it really time and are you sure you are such a slow reader? Perhaps you are mistaken and it is in fact, neither of these two reasons.
For most of my life, I held the belief that I am a slow reader. I didn’t bother to clarify who I was comparing myself with until I met an expert photo reader recently and I realised that I could read as well as him, if and when I wanted to. In fact I realised that without being able to read effectively and efficiently, I would not have been able to study for and pass all my exams from the basic GCSE level to several degrees including an MBA. This was quite a revelation. It freed me from the desire to attend quite expensive “speed reading” or “photo reading” courses.
Ask yourself: “What is my belief about my reading skills?” “Who am I comparing myself with?”
If you believe that your friends, colleagues and bosses, read much better than you, what are they doing differently? What is it that you are not doing? Are you following effective reading strategies?
Here are a few that I use:
Strategy 1
Environment: Make sure you are physically comfortable and that you are able to breathe properly. Curling your legs up on the sofa is a great position for falling asleep but it will not serve you so well in reading effectively. Your abdomen needs to be free of obstructions to take in a full breath of air, regularly. Also, your back needs to be well supported so that you won’t be interrupted from your reading by continuously having to change positions.
Position the book upright on a reading table so that you are looking at it in the same way that you look at a computer screen (not laid flat on the table). If the book is laid flat on the table, notice that your eyeballs will not have as much peripheral vision as when they are focused straight ahead. When you are driving a car, you rely on peripheral vision to be aware of what is happening to your left and right. You would not be a good driver if you looked down the whole time. Similarly, you will be a much better reader if you look ahead than if you look down.
Strategy 2
Purpose: Make sure you know why you are reading the book. Start with a very clear intention. What are you looking for? Entertainment? Information? Inspiration? The more specific your purpose, usually, the easier it is to decide if the book is meant for you. If your purpose is to find relevant information for an assignment or article that you need to write, effective readers usually scan the contents page; the titles and subtitles until they find what they are looking for. If your purpose is to get a general sense of the book, to help you decide whether to buy it or not, for example, you will naturally skim through the pages to see if it interests you. This does not mean that all books you have bought are meant to be read by you. Your purpose may not have been clear when you bought the book; or that particular purpose may no longer be relevant. There is a time and a place for everything and when you decide what your purpose is, you will know whether the book is meant to be read now, or in fact ever, by you. This strategy may well clear some of your dusty bookshelves and make room for those special books that really deserve your attention in the present.
Strategy 3
Read the book with your mind rather than your eyes: Your mind is full of knowledge and all the new information it receives latches on to the existing knowledge in order to make sense of it. Therefore, the more well-read people tend to read much faster, being able to recognise and make sense of a lot of material they have not previously seen and they use their previous knowledge to predict what the author will express. When you are reading with your mind, imagine that you are having a conversation with the author of the book and this could give you insights that are not apparent in the physical words that you see with your eyes. Our favourite books are often those in which the author speaks to us with underlying messages that are triggered when there is a connection between the mind of the author and the mind of the reader.
If you use these three strategies effectively, you are no doubt, an effective and efficient reader and you will continue to improve as your mind learns to recognise familiar language patterns; familiar themes; familiar content. The more organised the existing knowledge in your mind, the greater the likelihood that the new information will be easily assimilated and integrated to enhance your comprehension skills and your ability to communicate your understanding. So, what is your current belief about your reading skills?
I learnt some of these reading techniques from the following:
Buzan, T., (2003) The Speed Reading Book , BBC Worldwide Ltd, UK
Websites:
PhotoReading Whole Mind System Reading Program
http://www.photoreading.com/ (accessed 12 December 2009)
The Speed Reading Coach
http://www.thespeedreadingcoach.com/ (accessed 12 December 2009)
If you enjoyed reading this article, please share it . To receive notification when I write another article, subscribe to our newsletter here: http://universityforlife.com/subscribe.htm
© Jesvir Mahil 2009 www.jesvir.com
How well do you read? Notice, I didn’t ask “How fast do you read?” I asked quite a different question: “How well do you read?”
Like me, you may have wished you could read much faster than you do. There may be a growing pile of books on your shelves, gathering dust; books that you wish you had time to read; books that you wish you could read faster, to fit in the time you have available.
What’s stopping you from reading your collection of books? Is it really time and are you sure you are such a slow reader? Perhaps you are mistaken and it is in fact, neither of these two reasons.
For most of my life, I held the belief that I am a slow reader. I didn’t bother to clarify who I was comparing myself with until I met an expert photo reader recently and I realised that I could read as well as him, if and when I wanted to. In fact I realised that without being able to read effectively and efficiently, I would not have been able to study for and pass all my exams from the basic GCSE level to several degrees including an MBA. This was quite a revelation. It freed me from the desire to attend quite expensive “speed reading” or “photo reading” courses.
Ask yourself: “What is my belief about my reading skills?” “Who am I comparing myself with?”
If you believe that your friends, colleagues and bosses, read much better than you, what are they doing differently? What is it that you are not doing? Are you following effective reading strategies?
Here are a few that I use:
Strategy 1
Environment: Make sure you are physically comfortable and that you are able to breathe properly. Curling your legs up on the sofa is a great position for falling asleep but it will not serve you so well in reading effectively. Your abdomen needs to be free of obstructions to take in a full breath of air, regularly. Also, your back needs to be well supported so that you won’t be interrupted from your reading by continuously having to change positions.
Position the book upright on a reading table so that you are looking at it in the same way that you look at a computer screen (not laid flat on the table). If the book is laid flat on the table, notice that your eyeballs will not have as much peripheral vision as when they are focused straight ahead. When you are driving a car, you rely on peripheral vision to be aware of what is happening to your left and right. You would not be a good driver if you looked down the whole time. Similarly, you will be a much better reader if you look ahead than if you look down.
Strategy 2
Purpose: Make sure you know why you are reading the book. Start with a very clear intention. What are you looking for? Entertainment? Information? Inspiration? The more specific your purpose, usually, the easier it is to decide if the book is meant for you. If your purpose is to find relevant information for an assignment or article that you need to write, effective readers usually scan the contents page; the titles and subtitles until they find what they are looking for. If your purpose is to get a general sense of the book, to help you decide whether to buy it or not, for example, you will naturally skim through the pages to see if it interests you. This does not mean that all books you have bought are meant to be read by you. Your purpose may not have been clear when you bought the book; or that particular purpose may no longer be relevant. There is a time and a place for everything and when you decide what your purpose is, you will know whether the book is meant to be read now, or in fact ever, by you. This strategy may well clear some of your dusty bookshelves and make room for those special books that really deserve your attention in the present.
Strategy 3
Read the book with your mind rather than your eyes: Your mind is full of knowledge and all the new information it receives latches on to the existing knowledge in order to make sense of it. Therefore, the more well-read people tend to read much faster, being able to recognise and make sense of a lot of material they have not previously seen and they use their previous knowledge to predict what the author will express. When you are reading with your mind, imagine that you are having a conversation with the author of the book and this could give you insights that are not apparent in the physical words that you see with your eyes. Our favourite books are often those in which the author speaks to us with underlying messages that are triggered when there is a connection between the mind of the author and the mind of the reader.
If you use these three strategies effectively, you are no doubt, an effective and efficient reader and you will continue to improve as your mind learns to recognise familiar language patterns; familiar themes; familiar content. The more organised the existing knowledge in your mind, the greater the likelihood that the new information will be easily assimilated and integrated to enhance your comprehension skills and your ability to communicate your understanding. So, what is your current belief about your reading skills?
I learnt some of these reading techniques from the following:
Buzan, T., (2003) The Speed Reading Book , BBC Worldwide Ltd, UK
Websites:
PhotoReading Whole Mind System Reading Program
http://www.photoreading.com/ (accessed 12 December 2009)
The Speed Reading Coach
http://www.thespeedreadingcoach.com/ (accessed 12 December 2009)
If you enjoyed reading this article, please share it . To receive notification when I write another article, subscribe to our newsletter here: http://universityforlife.com/subscribe.htm
© Jesvir Mahil 2009 www.jesvir.com
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